Pumpkins Journey

My Journey to health and fitness.
Age: 21 H: 5'4" HW: 241 CW:161.4 GW: 120 (Healthy!)

Before the 30 Day Shred.

okay so here is a before pic, i know its shitty but its from my webcam. 

And the back

I’m not going to post the side view because honestly it just depresses me lol. And no I’m not that tall I’m standing on something to get a better view. 


Age: 21

Height: 5’4” 

Highest Weight: 241 (before gastric bypass surgery)

Current Weight: 161.4

Ultimate Goal Weight: 120ish/ Happy and Healthy


Arms: 11”

Thighs: 23”

Upper Waist: 35.5” 

Lower Waist: 38.5”

Hips: 40”

Bust: 36.75”

All of these measurements my not be 100% accurate but they are close. I had to measure myself, with no measuring tape because I can’t find mine. I did it with ribbon and then measured the ribbon. Sounds silly. Felt silly.

30 Day Shred. Brutal but so worth it.

Ok so on Wednesday I started doing the 30 Day Shred with The Biggest Loser’s Jillian Michaels. 

Day 1 went something like this:

Okay okay I can do this no problem. (5 minutes in) Oh god I’m so out of shape, the pain!.

It ended with pain but it felt somewhat satisfying. 

I wondered whether I could do the full 30 days but I’ve resolved myself to do it and I want to, badly!

I did decide that I needed to down size my dumbells. I only had a pair of 8lb dumbells which killed me during the first day of level 1. Note to self get smaller weights.

I did the video while my boyfriend was in class and our roommates were gone so I had the house to myself, good thing to because five minutes in I had to take my shirt off and just do it in my sports bra, sexy right? lol

I woke up on day 2 and I was SORE! oh my goodness so sore I went on a walk that day (2.53 miles) and my thighs were just killing me. 

But I came home and had a talk with my boyfriend. He and I both want to lose weight and get healthier/fitter but we both lack motivation and I realized that I need to help him as well as helping myself.

I told him about the video, I explained that I hadn’t told him about it because well i guess I was embarrassed I’m not 100% sure why but I think I just didn’t want him to see me look silly. I asked if he would try it with me, just once and if he liked it he could do it with me if not he didn’t have to.

So later that night we both did the video Day 2 for me, day 1 for him. I still hadn’t bought new weights so we each used one 8lb weight, which was very awkward since your supposed to use two but hey we work with what we’ve got right?

It was harder. much harder, because of how sore I was, I had to stop a few more times than I did on day 1 but I didn’t give up. Seeing my boyfriend push through the pain and never stopping (my hero) pushed me to keep going. 

Day 3

I woke up feeling sore but not quite as sore as day 2 so yay!

today we went out and bought a set of 5lb weights so he got to use the 8lbs and I used the 5’s. I think the 8’s are still pretty heavy for this workout though. I’ve read that you should start with 3’s but they feel so light to me i just can’t do it. 

So we did another session of Level 1 and to my surprise I could practically do some push ups!!! I don’t think I’ve ever done a real push up before! I won’t say I did a great one or even 100% all the way but for me it was a HUGE improvement!! Of course I could only do like 3 before my ridiculously sore arms didn’t want to support me any more but hey its a start!

I stopped more than I wanted to I just felt the need to catch my break a few times but like Jillian says it was never longer than 5 seconds. 

Today I woke up feeling much less sore than I expected, still a little sore but nothing compared to Day 2. So thats a good feeling.

I will be doing day 4 in just 26 minutes! Then I’m going to go on a quick walk before getting ready for work. 

This morning I measured myself and wrote out a schedule on a calender for my workouts. 

I didn’t write in times but just seeing “30-Day__” on my calender is really motivating. I also wrote in to walk at least 3 days a week, I put it on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays since I don’t work on Mondays or Wednesdays. 

I’m hoping I will be able to do more exercising as time progresses but until I choose what I’m happy with this. 

Also I bought a Wii balance board so it should be arriving today so thats another way to get in some exercise, its super fun, my parents have one and I love it!

I will post before pics along with my measurements in a few. 

Also one thing i feel I must admit is that my eating right now is AWFUL I’m probably undoing the exercise I am doing so today I am changing that.


My open tabs look a little something like this:

Fitness website

Fitness blog

Biggest loser blogging about half-marathons


Cupcake recipes



I love it :)

I really want to bake something and since I have the next two days off I just might.

Today I started the 30 day shred video with Jillian Michaels it was good, hard but good.

I felt really out of shape doing it and a lotof the time I was giving Jillian some pretty WTF faces but over all I’m very glad I did it and I can’t wait to see some improvement.

i just take some before and after pics :)just for the record 

and i just spilled coffee on my laptop, well it seems ok so YAY :) I’d hate to have to buy a new one after getting this one fixed!

So I’ve never really had goals before other than numbers I dream of but never truly believe i can get to. But I’ve decided to change that i have something I’m going to strive for because I want it!

My goal is to wear a bathing suit on my birthday (July 5, I’ll be 22) and feel comfortable for the first time in my life.

I don’t care if I’m not at 120 or if i still struggle with running or if my thighs touch some.

I just want to feel good for me.


its not specific just general, a two piece would be even nicer since i haven’t worn one since my age was a single digit. 

Ugh today I weighed in at 153! I’ve gained 10lbs this year
I’ve decided to rejoin weight watchers I just need to decide between the meetings and the online
Now I’m watching The Biggest Loser for inspiration I love this show it’s so inspiring

50 Things You Need To Give Up Today


  1. Give up trying to be perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.
  2. Give up comparing yourself to others. – The only person you are competing against is yourself.
  3. Give up dwelling on the past or worrying too much about the future. – Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you. Right now is life. Don’t miss it.
  4. Give up complaining. – Do something about it.
  5. Give up holding grudges. – Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness.
  6. Give up waiting. – What we don’t start today won’t be finished by tomorrow. Knowledge and intelligence are both useless without action.
  7. Give up lying. – In the long-run the truth always reveals itself. Either you own up to your actions or your actions will ultimately own you.
  8. Give up trying to avoid mistakes. – The only mistake that can truly hurt you is choosing to do nothing simply because you’re too scared to make a mistake.
  9. Give up saying, “I can’t.” – As Henry Ford put it, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.”
  10. Give up trying to be everything to everyone. – Making one person smile can change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. Start small. Start now.
  11. Give up thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
  12. Give up setting small goals for yourself. – Many people set small goals because they’re afraid to fail. Ironically, setting these small goals is what makes them fail.
  13. Give up trying to do everything by yourself. – You are the sum of the people you spend the most time with. If you work together, you will be far more capable and powerful than you ever could have been alone.
  14. Give up buying things you don’t need. – Manage your money wisely so your money does not manage you. Do not spend to impress others. Do not live life trying to fool yourself into thinking wealth is measured in material objects.
  15. Give up blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can live your dream life depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
  16. Give up making mountains out of molehills. – One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years? If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
  17. Give up trying to live up to the expectations of others. – Work on it for real and exceed your own expectations. Everything else will fall into place.
  18. Give up the ‘easy street’ mentality. – There is too much emphasis on finding a ‘quick fix’ in today’s society. For example taking diet pills to lose weight instead of exercising and eating well. No amount of magic fairy dust replaces diligent, focused, hard work.
  19. Give up making promises you can’t keep. – Don’t over-promise. Over-deliver on everything you do.
  20. Give up letting your thoughts and feelings bottle up inside. – People are not mind readers. They will never know how you feel unless you tell them.
  21. Give up beating around the bush. – Say what you mean and mean what you say. Communicate effectively.
  22. Give up avoiding change. – However good or bad a situation is now, it will change. That’s the one thing you can count on. So embrace change and realize that change happens for a reason. It won’t always be easy or obvious at first, but in the end it will be worth it.
  23. Give up your sense of entitlement. – Nobody is entitled to anything in this world. We are all equal. We breathe the same air. We get what we give. We get what we earn.
  24. Give up waiting until the last minute. – Those who fail to plan, plan to fail.
  25. Give up being dramatic. – Stay out of other people’s drama and don’t needlessly create your own.
  26. Give up being anti-athletic. – Get your body moving! Simply take a long, relaxing walk or commit 30 minutes to an at-home exercise program like the P90X workout.
  27. Give up junk food. – You are what you eat.
  28. Give up eating as a means of entertainment. – Don’t eat when you’re bored. Eat when you’re hungry.
  29. Give up foolish habits that you know are foolish. – Don’t text and drive. Don’t drink and drive. Don’t smoke. Etc.
  30. Give up relationships with people who bring you down. – Saying “no” to right people gives you the time and resources required to say “yes” to right opportunities. Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded.
  31. Give up being shy. – Network with people. Meet new people. Ask questions. Introduce yourself.
  32. Give up worrying about what others think of you. – Unless you’re trying to make a great first impression (job interview, first date, etc.), don’t let the opinions of others stand in your way. What they think and say about you isn’t important. What is important is how you feel about yourself.
  33. Give up trying to control everything. – Life is an unpredictable phenomenon. No matter how good or bad things seem right now, we can never be 100% certain what will happen next. So do you best with what’s in front of you and leave the rest to the powers above you.
  34. Give up doing the same thing over and over again. – In order to grow, you must expand your horizons and break free of your comfort zone. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.
  35. Give up following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t find the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.
  36. Give up persistent multi-tasking. – Do one thing at a time and do it right.
  37. Give up thinking others are luckier than you. – The harder you work, the luckier you will become.
  38. Give up filling every waking moment with commitments and activities. – It’s okay to be alone. It’s okay to do nothing sometimes. Think. Relax. Breathe. Be.
  39. Give up making emotional decisions. – Don’t let your emotions trump your intelligence. Slow down and think things through before you make any life-changing decisions.
  40. Give up doing the wrong things just because you can get away with it. – Just because you can get away with something doesn’t mean you should do it. Think bigger. Keep the end in mind. Do what you know in your heart is right.
  41. Give up focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
  42. Give up taking yourself so seriously. – Few others do anyway. So enjoy yourself and have a little fun while you can.
  43. Give up spending your life working in a career field you’re not passionate about. – Life is too short for such nonsense. The right career choice is based on one key point: Finding hard work you love doing. So if you catch yourself working hard and loving every minute of it, don’t stop. You’re on to something big. Because hard work ain’t hard when you concentrate on your passions.
  44. Give up thinking about the things you don’t have. – Appreciate everything you do have. Many people aren’t so lucky.
  45. Give up doubting others. – People who are determined do remarkable things. Remember, the one who says it can’t be done should never interrupt the one doing it.
  46. Give up fussing with every beauty product on the market. – Good looks attracts the eyes. Personality attracts the heart. Be proud to be you. That’s when you’re beautiful.
  47. Give up trying to fit in. – Don’t mold yourself into someone you’re not. Be yourself. Oftentimes, the only reason they want you to fit in is that once you do they can ignore you and go about their business.
  48. Give up trying to be different for the sake of being different. – Nonconformity for the sake of nonconformity is conformity. When people try too hard to be different, they usually end up being just like everyone else who is trying to be different. Once again, be yourself.
  49. Give up trying to avoid risk. – There’s no such thing as ‘risk free.’ Everything you do or don’t do has an inherent risk.
  50. Give up putting your own needs on the back burner. – Yes, help others, but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

And remember, mistakes make us human, failures help us grow, hope keeps us going and love is the reason we’re alive. So keep learning, loving and living. Never give up on yourself.

(Source: skinny-but-curvy, via tumblrgym)

Fake it.

Ok so heres the skinny- or should i say the not so skinny on me.

I’ve been overweight for most of my life.

Starting in about the fifth grade I suppose I began eating my emotions and all of a sudden my weight ballooned like no ones business for reals.

At 19 years old I weighed 241lbs at 5’4”. 

I made the decision to undergo Gastric Bypass Sugery, and since them I have lost around 100lbs in 2 1/2 years.

Awesomesauce right? well yea…and no 

Does being 100lbs lighter feel awesome? Yes absolutely!

Do I still struggle with my weight and what I see in the mirror? Absolutely, every day.

One of the issues I have is that as I lost the weight I did not workout, like at all. So my body isn’t what it could be and yes it bothers me.

I have excess/ lose skin, not a lot but its enough to make me look & feel heavier than I am.

I’ve had a lot of trouble adjusting to life post surgery, I don’t eat all that well, my stomach feels things differently than it used to. Plus there are things I can’t eat. Like sugar, my stomach does not tolerate sugar well, it rudely rejects it and causes me an extraordinary amount of pain and discomfort. 

I am trying to reboot my life, starting with a new job in a new town, and now with my health.

The first step for me? Exercise. I need it. 

The next step? Eating better

so what do I mean by this? Cus eating better? duh everyone needs to do that. 

I need more nutrients in my diet, my current diet includes mainly carbs and then not eating enough in general. I’m not trying to not eat I just don’t really feel like eating all that much.

The number one nutrient I need? Protein! 

Also I definitely need to drink more water. 

I go by most days without drinking even one glass. A constant state of dehydration that I’m sure is playing heck with my body!

In fact the other week I was having pains in my kidneys! My kidneys! I’m only 21 I’m too young for kidney pains but drinking more water really helped and the pain went away but then I went back to my usual drinking habits. Ugh! I need help with this stuff.

Thats why I’m turning to my Tumblr page. 

One of my biggest issues is a total lack of motivation. I’ve never had any and nothing has changed. But I’d like to at least try to fake it till I make it!